Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
