Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
