i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
