he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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