This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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