it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Randomize
