I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
