why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
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