hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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