similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
