wrigley field is MILF paradise
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
