discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
