forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
