i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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