Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.