So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
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One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
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Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.