woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably