I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
