So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.