im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.