Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(858): View more from California

So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?

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(734): View more from Michigan

I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.

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(440): View more from Ohio

And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link

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(513): View more from Ohio

I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.

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21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Read it at the TFLN blog
(703): View more from Virginia

So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win

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(540): View more from Virginia

it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on

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(281): View more from Texas

Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.

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(+61): View more from Australia

I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?

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(419): View more from Ohio

Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.

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