And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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