I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
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