so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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