Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Randomize
