I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize