Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
