I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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