Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
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