God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
