After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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