I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize