She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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