I skipped work to stalk him.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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