So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize