there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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