I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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