i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
