Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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