I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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