..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
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Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
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