I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
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But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
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You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
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