I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
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