Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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