So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize