the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
