She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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