Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
