I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Randomize
