Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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