My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
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