i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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