hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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