Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
