You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
i think i have herpe
just one?
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I wish you could order shots online.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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