I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
