She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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