remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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