so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize