ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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