Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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