new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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