literally had 100 drinks last night.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Randomize
